Home feels so good, especially after being away.
Lots of meals eaten in a hotel room, lots of airplanes, lots of airports, lots of quiet.
I was ready for home.
All my boys are home this weekend and I'm soaking it up. There's stuff everywhere, they eat A LOT, there's a lot of boy stuff happening at all times. How come boys can't walk within 5 feet of each other without shoving or elbowing or making a comment of some sort?
It's kinda fun to watch now but I just don't get it. Will they still do this when they're 40?
If I could have a dollar for every time I've said, 'BOYSSSSSS!' then I'd be rich. Really, really rich.
I'm finding myself...and others are, I'm sure, wondering what is happening in this world of ours. So much hate, so much violence, so much judgement.
I am a Christian but I've questioned...if faced with a gunman, would my faith speak or would my fear? Those college students stood up for their faith...but would I? I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I crave heaven and the peace it will bring but I like living here, too. I want to grow old with that guy that I like so much. I want to rock my grandbabies. I want to smell the air on beautiful Autumn mornings. I want to eat pasta in Italy one more time and have coffee with girlfriends and sit in my garden with my loves and every single one of those things is such a selfish, earthly thing.
I need Jesus. Plain and simple. I need to trust in the promise that He will carry me when I need to be carried and not worry so much about the rest. But it's hard.
Everything else seems small these last few days.
And so I'm doing what I do. Praying for my boys and their salvation. Praying for my husband as he goes to work at his college each morning. Praying for peace - for this world, for those who suffer, for my own heart.
Come, Lord Jesus. Come.
And until then, real every day life continues.
Trader Joe's has pumpkin caramel kringle in stock, the coffee is hot and strong, that guy that I like so much has a concert tomorrow, my boys (and one girl!) are all under our little roof on our little street, there's a 15 pound pork roast ready to go in the oven soon and I've got a new phone with a major amount of memory on it.
It's silly but I am SO happy.
So on this Saturday, that's that. There is a change that has happened - a change in the weather that tells me yet another season has come. As I'm sitting at my counter drinking coffee, the windows are wide open and even though it is close to 80 there is a slight chill to the breeze.