Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Home All day


In the midst of busyness, there are long walks with the pooch.  We live in the most dog friendly area ever...lots of parks and walking paths.  I love those little breaks in real life; time to just throw on his leash and take a little walk thru the 'hood.

Homemade salted caramel sauce.  Made up a batch for ice cream but it tastes even better on a spoon.  I am happy to report that the jar is now empty...and my belly is full.

Worth it.

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We sat in the garden last night for hours and hours, planning an upcoming trip and just hanging out.  It was so needed in between the big concert last weekend and the events that are coming this weekend...I actually didn't want the evening to end.  We took the pup for a long, late night walk and try as I might, I fell asleep before seeing the blood moon.

Oh well.  The pictures are cool.

Supper last night...a bunch of roasted chickens and a huge pan of roasted veggies.  I can't wait to grow fennel this summer...it's so expensive to buy and we could easily eat it multiple times a week.  I'm trying to clean out the outside freezer...tonight will be some sort of something or other that was frozen into an unrecognizable mass and I won't know exactly what it is until it thaws.  Sounds appetizing, eh?  Tons of veggies to go with whatever it is and a big salad...and I'm in kneading mood, so a loaf of homemade bread on the side.


Today just feels like a really good, much needed, day to be home.  If you come by to visit, why yes, I will be in my pj's all. day. long.

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Monday, April 14, 2014

Oh What A Weekend


I'm not even sure how to begin processing the events of this past weekend...and it will probably take some quiet time to do so.  That guy that I like so much conducted a huge (majorly huge) concert and it was so much more than what I bargained for.

I focused on the realities.  The concert (Bach's St Matthew Passion) was slated to be 3 1/2 hours long and entirely in German.  Two separate choirs; two separate orchestras.  A 50 page program.

My heart, while very much in love with him, wasn't entirely in love with this endeavor which has taken so much of his time over the last year.

So I put on my cute new dress and sat in the pew waiting for the concert to begin.  I flipped that program open and readied myself for a long afternoon...but instead, the music began and grabbed hold of my heart.  

And now, a full day later, I am still processing the enormity of the story that was told.  Jesus, the crucifixion...a truth I know in and out.  But yesterday?  Yesterday it was told in a way that touched me to the core.

Powerful...and hauntingly beautiful.  I'm now ready for this week...for Easter to come.

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 Last weekend my mom and her husband were here for the weekend; this weekend brought my in-laws.  We had a lovely celebration dinner last night and a big, loud family dinner here tonight.  

Tomorrow will be back to normal...there's work and laundry and a trip to the bank (FOUR identity theft issues since Christmas, so we've had to completely close our checking and savings and start completely over) and if I'm lucky...a long hike on some nearby trail.  I love my hikes...sometimes with a hot tea in hand, sometimes with music in my ears, sometimes with a dog on a leash or a boy by my side, sometimes alone with just my own thoughts.

I'd like to tell you that hiking is like therapy for me, and it is...but what it really means to me?

Lunch.

Calories in.  Calories out.

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Brian is on Spring Break and so we have a list of things to accomplish...a list with things on it like the dentist, the doctor, the chiropractor.  There's also a driving lesson and new shoes, a dog to walk and maybe, if he sweet talks me sweetly enough, a lunch out involving fish tacos.

It won't take much to convince me.

But first?  Some bubbly tonight in the garden with that guy that I like so much.  It's dark outside, but the darkness is somehow comforting, simply because of the knowledge that it isn't forever.  The light is coming...and how blessed we are to know that.

Oh...and today?  Showed up for Palm Sunday church dressed in all our finery, only to find out that there was a time change for the service and we were, like, 45 minutes late.  So we did what anyone else in our place would've done...we high tailed it out of there and went to a leisurely breakfast at Ruby's on the lake.

Yet another reason to be thankful for yesterday.  I told Alex that I was a bit sad that I missed getting my palm as a reminder of what is to come this week;  he pointed out that I have a daily reminder in our backyard..our very own palm tree.

How right he is.  How right he is.

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

April


This month is...well, packed full.

Like, majorly full.

Let's see...we've got both sets of grandparents visiting over two different weekends.  There's a major (as in majorly major) concert happening.  A son has his final recital (and a reception to cook for) up at his school and will then, a week or so later,  graduate with his Master's degree.  There are some major parties happening in this little house on this little street, jobs to be worked, a husband who is working a ton, laundry to be done.

It's all good...it's just a lot.

In the midst of all of it, we had a family dinner on Sunday night and all members of my trio were in attendance.  I love moments like that and find myself just sitting back and watching the dynamics between them.  There was nothing special about that night...it was a simple pot roast in the middle of the table, but it was so much more than that. 

It was all my favorite people, right near me.

I sure do like them.

I escaped reality for a few hours yesterday and climbed a mountain...like a real mountain, complete with rocks and dirt and everything.  At one point, as I was on all fours clawing my way up that I thought, 'how the heck am I gonna get down????'

I did get down and I'm just a tad bit more than proud of myself.  I mean, come on people...I climbed a mountain!

(and if you point out that it really is nothing more than a very large hill then I am gonna cry...)

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So, bottom line, we're still here.  Just taking it all day by day and not looking too far ahead.  Living life to the fullest, sleeping when we can, drinking far too little wine due to the busyness of everyday life but also thankful that this too shall pass.

The garden is in full bloom and is just waiting for us.

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Monday, March 31, 2014

Earthquake


On Friday night a girlfriend and I were sitting on a particularly uncomfortable portable  set of bleachers while watching our boys play a rather late (8:00pm...followed by a 9:00pm) basketball game, when we felt a little jolt.  We were in a massive gym and there were at least a dozen other games going on around us, so we thought nothing of it...until a little bit later when the ground began rolling about under our feet.

Shaker, shaker...it was a quaker.  A big one...5.1 and it lasted quite a bit.  The basketball team?  They didn't even notice and kept right on playing.  The parents?  Well, we laughed the nervous laughs and talked the nervous talk and texted all our families to make sure everyone was A-OK.

They were.

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Brian, the baby of our family, got his permit last week.  Sigh.  I just don't know if I can teach yet another boy who thinks they are the best driver in the world how to drive.

It ain't easy, ya'll.  

Round 3...here we come!

 On a funner (sorry grammar peeps) note...this is my dog.  He's perfect and sweet and I love him.  Like, really love him.  Like, I am totally sorry for making fun of dog people before.  I just didn't get it...but now I do.

I. Love. My. Dog.

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Saturday morning my girlfriend and I tried a new trail, which turned out to be not much of a trail but a million stairs up a big hill.  It was an absolute killer workout and I've been feeling it ever since. 

I love that.

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Move a kids dresser and what do I find?

A bazillion batteries, a hundred candy wrappers, a dozen or so coins and ONE BEER CAN.

Gotta love boys.

Speaking of boys...my boy in the middle is a heart tugger.  I couldn't be more proud of the man he is becoming, of the work ethic he has, of the fact that he talked me into getting a dog.

The dark days?  Brighter now.  

Thank you, God.

We've had out supper, discussed Bach (again), shared a rather decent California Cabernet, listened to Diana Krall, and he's now settled into marking scores and I'm ready to settle into the latest book I'm reading.

We haven't spent more than 30 minutes in the same room all weekend, until tonight, yet I feel like we've just had the longest weekend away.  It's crazy how that happens...how a moment can become more than just a moment.

Tonight was needed and I think we are both ready to jump head first into the week that is to come.  Summer...it's coming.  I can feel it.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Good Morning

Yawn.

I'm sleepy...and I just woke up.  Today just might be a nap kind of day...I'm kind of locked in anyway.  All the windows and doors are covered with plastic and the painters are working their magic repainting our little house the exact same color it was before...a rather unremarkable shade of beige.  Associations can be annoying...I live in a rather beige one, and I tend to moan and groan about the dues we pay.

But then they fix my termite damage and give us a new pretty fence and a new roof and new paint and well, that's just in the last year.  We're well taken care of...even if it's all beige.

Now if only they'd work on the inside of my house.  Oh wait...I have to pay for that part.

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My boss was in my car a few weeks ago and we got talking about satellite radio and boom!  The next day it was in my car again.  It's a luxury...one I'd never pay for, but when you're on the road like I am it is an awesome luxury.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I am a total car singer...like sing at the top of my lungs pretending I am Celine Dion kind of singer.  And to me?  Totally sound like her, too.  


This next 6 weeks are going to be the craziest busiest ever.  That guy that I like so much has a huge concert he's conducting (Bach's St. Matthew Passion), our son is giving his final recital and graduating with his (wait. for. it) Master's degree, we are hosting a few major parties at our little house on our little street, that guy that I like so much has a bazillion student recitals to attend, there's Holy Week and Easter and work and school and a dog to walk and lots of out of town company coming for visits.

It's packed full but it's all exciting stuff, too.  I'm not at all stressed...I'll just do what I do.  Make massive amounts of food, open bottle after bottle of wine and all will be well.    

Today I am painting a bedroom door...the door that has a rather large hole in it thanks to 'I didn't do it' or 'not me' or 'he did it'.  One of those people.  Anyway, I priced out new doors and the cost of having it cut to fit our not standard sized doorways and I would much rather have my $$ go to a feed my family than to replacing a silly door.

So a lot of spackle and a little paint and we'll be good to go.

Well, I guess I should begin my day...though maybe I'll hop back into bed for just a few more minutes.

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Monday, March 24, 2014

It Was A Rough Week

So...here's the low down.  The nitty gritty.  The real truth.

This weekend, that guy that I like so much and I had (kinda sorta) a day off.  Together.  As in we were off of work, ignored work, pretended we don't work kind of day.  It was a Sunday...a day of Sabbath that we should have had off anyway but, well, don't usually get off because he has a church job and is in the middle of that (insert profanity here) Bach project that he is in the middle of.

But for one day...he put Bach on the back burner and me on the front burner.

Can you hear the angels singing?????

(I can....)

And if you believe I am ever really on the back burner, then, well, you don't know us in real life.  But still...a girl can whine a little, can't she????

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This week turned out to be a week that challenged me in a way that I had never before been challenged.  In fact, I actually reached my breaking point as I was being screamed at by someone who works for me.  That person was frustrated and said things (many things) they shouldn't have and I ended up just hanging up the phone.  It was, to put it mildly, intense.

I didn't like it.  At all.  

I didn't like how I was being spoken to, I didn't like how I was reacting, I didn't like how I was being tested....and yes, I felt like I was being tested.  Not by man, but by God.  As in, 'hey chick....can you handle what I'm throwing at you????  Oh yeah, well, let me throw MORE your way!'

I actually pulled my car over and took a bunch of deep breaths and then cried.  Hard.  I tried calling that guy that I like so much but he was teaching.  My closest girlfriends were all working.  No one was available to listen to me cry hysterically.

But God?  He was waiting, ever so patiently, for me to come to Him.  He was waiting for me to say 'help me'.  He was sitting there, quietly, waiting for me to lay all of this on Him.

Now in the perfect world, I would have done all that at that moment.  But instead? It took me almost 3 days to come to that place.  In between there was a dinner at a friends house, where they had the most incredible ceviche and tacos and hospitality in their beautiful backyard on one night and a wedding of two of that guy that I like so much's students (where so many former students whom we ADORE were in attendance) on another night....and then almost a whole day off, running errands and hanging out at home before I came to that realization.

It took DAYS.

I needed to dump it on God.  I needed to let Him carry this burden.  I'm the human....He's not.  He's stronger and bigger and more kind and just better than my human self is...and I need to remember that.

So now it's Sunday night.  We went to church, lunched out, shopped for shoes, roasted some chickens, dismantled our backyard (our house is being painted tomorrow) and sat and drank a bottle of wine with my family at the table.  We danced a little, Brian is making cookies, Alex is walking the dog, Matthew sent a few texts.  My world is feeling a bit more balanced...a bit more ready for the new week to begin.

Life...it's not always easy.  But for now, what I have at this moment, is all good.  I need to focus on the bigger picture...and I'm trying.  It's easy after a few days off, after some quiet and some fun and some wine.  Hoping it remains easy once the alarm goes off early tomorrow.  

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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Highs and Lows

Up:  Boys.  They've been rather fun lately.  Hungry, but fun.
Down: That guy that I like so much...I haven't seen him in days.  His schedule, to put it nicely, sucks right now.  For both him and me.


Up: Work.  It's been a good week where I've felt like I'm actually making a difference.  
Low: Work.  Am I making a difference?

Haha.

Gotta love a woman's brain.

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High: Daffodil season is upon us.
Low: Totally random but what was that puddle of water in the kitchen this morning?  Did a male spill something and leave it?  Did the dishwasher leak?  Did the dog leak? 

So many questions; so few answers.

The highlight of Brian's life is in this video.  He's constantly compared to his big brother and let me tell you, that's not always easy.  This, though, made him stand quite a bit taller.

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3:07 am.  Insomnia.  Might as well work a little bit and hope for a little nap in the garden tomorrow afternoon.

One can hope.

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