I needed rest. I needed time to get caught up in laundry. I needed a few days with no schedule.
I needed a weekend.
This past weekend was just that. Truth is, that guy that I like so much works every single weekend...most people just don't understand what his schedule is truly like. He works hard and when an occasional day comes up where there is nothing on his schedule, well, there is much rejoicing.
It's cause for a celebration around these parts.
It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears (or rather, mumbling, grumbling and cursing) to put our garden back in order following three weeks of operation 'termite eradication', which involved the replacing of everything from all our fence posts to the ripping off and changing of all our shingles and wood of our little house on our little street.
We've done one remodel and I have always said that I won't do another...it's just not that big of a deal to me to disrupt my life in order to have something not so much different than what we already have, but this was worthy of any major remodel. And we had no say in it as we live in an association and they were in charge of the whole project...which was a blessing and a curse.
A curse because we had no say (though our house was quite literally infested) and a blessing because we didn't have to pay for the tens of thousands that this whole thing ended up costing. Thank you, dues. Seriously.
The thing is, when you live in a tiny space...and tiny for us is 1,200 sq feet, you just live in every inch of that space. There is literally no corner that we don't live in, including our garden. When one of those spaces is removed, it's just hard. When one of those spaces is removed AND there are 6-8 workers banging and pounding and walking in and walking out all day long for three weeks, it's even harder.
How many ways can you spell grumpy? Annoyed? Bothered?
But, for some reason, God wanted to shake me up a bit. He wanted me to adapt and go with the flow...something I was much better at before I went back to work. Something I was better at when my boys were little. Something I was better at when I was younger.
The past few weeks? Not easy.
But not impossible. Suppers were still cooked, work was still done, basketball games were still played and friends were still over.
And the best part? The termites are bye bye.
I have realized that my routine is a little lacking. The school year has begun and we are living each day as it comes, but I have failed so far at one major relationship in my life. He asks for so little of me...and I can't even give Him that.
The thing is, I'm in church every Sunday. I pray like crazy. But I just don't seem to be finding the time for that quiet time every day that I need so badly. I have all these opportunities and I just don't grab them...I can go every day to chapel at that guy that I like so much's school, but parking isn't easy. I can get up 15 minutes earlier, plop myself at my kitchen table and read...but I keep hitting the snooze button. I can jump into my favorite church (which is always unlocked) and spend some quiet time...but it's just enough out of my way that I haven't been going.
I'm sad that I can't seem to give the one person who gave everything of himself and I can't adjust my schedule lately to give Him 15 minutes of my time. I make time for coffee. I make time to text. I make time to cook and clean and drive and talk.
I make time for everything except the most important thing there is.
This weekend was a good start. I sat in my favorite blue chair in my garden and read and prayed and wrote in my journal. I need to get that daily habit back...for me. I'm a better me when I am making the time for that quiet time. I have the time...I just need to prioritize what I do with that time.
I need to make it easy.
Like I said, this weekend was a good start. A new beginning. Gotta love how many 'do over's' we're given in a lifetime, don't' you?