I'm just not much fun right now. I'm actually sick...like a coughy, sniffly, sneezy, I'm just really miserable kind of sick. The kind of sick where I'm not quite sick enough to get out of the grocery shopping, laundry, clean up the house stuff...but definitely sick enough that I just feel miserable enough doing all that stuff that I'm making everyone around me miserable because I'm doing it.
Like I said...I'm just not much fun right now.
This weekend was a concert weekend for that guy that I like so much. This particular annual concert always involves a visiting composer/arranger/organist and we always host a dinner in the garden the night before the event. It's usually a mix of students and faculty and then the composer...and this time around his wife, who is a published author.
It was a fun night and I was surrounded by so many talented people...musicians, writers, speakers. The garden looked so pretty as the sun went down and the candles were flickering in the darkness, the food was pretty good, the music was fun. I just love this little house on this little street...not just the building itself but what we are so blessed to have.
I often think before a party about how much I haven't done...how the floors aren't clean enough or that most of the plates are chipped or that none of our silverware matches. I learned many, many parties ago that I am the best kind of host when I am a guest at my own party...so everything that can be done ahead of time needs to be done ahead of time, including the worrying. And the emptying of the dishwasher...because I always, always start a party with an empty dishwasher. Seriously, you never know what you might need to shove in there at the last minute.
In the end, though, the guests just don't notice all that stuff. They notice if we are relaxed and happy. They notice that we are present...not running around making sure everything is perfect but rather sitting with them at the table and talking with them.
That night, I felt it. Thankful. Calm. Present.
I love when that happens.
So there was the party on Saturday night and a concert on Sunday and a fancy dinner out on Sunday night that involved quite a few bottles of really good wine. Everyone was relaxed and happy and it just felt...peaceful.
Two for two.
And then Monday morning I woke up sick. A definite reminder that I am not in control. It's not convenient...or wanted right now. It's not part of my plan. I have a busy week ahead of me and I just. don't. have. time. for. this.
But I guess it just needs to ride it's course. I need to look for the silver lining...like the fact that I can work from home if I need to. That I could pull supper together with virtually no work. That I could nap while watching a movie this afternoon. That colds usually don't last all that long.
That healing, in one way or another, will come. Either now or later. Either here or there. That this is all part of this life and I need to be patient.