Life around our little house on our little street has been nothing short of chaotic. I'm struggling to find my groove...I know it's in there somewhere but I just can't seem to find it.
Welcome to grown-up land.
That being said...while life is busy and full, it is life. A good life.
I've been working a crazy amount of hours. The good news about my job is that it happens early, early in the morning and while I was leaving in the pitch black, it's now bright and sunny thanks to the time change. I like what I do, which helps a lot, but I'm looking forward to things slowing just a bit.
They will. I think.
I did manage to squeeze in a few hikes this week, though while the sun shines brightly on my mornings, it sets really early in the evenings. The up side to all that is that as I'm coming up my final hill, usually sweaty and whiney and over the hardness of it, I am greeted by a glorious sky.
I never get tired of that.
Meals around here have been hit and miss. One night I fed the family leftovers as they were all running out the door...that guy that I like so much had choir, Alex had basketball practice and Brian had football.
As for me? I walked over to my neighbors and invited myself in, helped myself to some of her home cooked deliciousness and a glass or four of wine and turned an ordinary night into a holiday. It was a win win...the fridge got cleaned out and I got a hot meal.
But shhh...don't tell.
I've said it over and over but it is seriously true...if you don't have Turkish neighbors then you are missing out. And even bigger than that...everyone should have someone in their lives where they can walk over, knock on the door and know you will be invited in.
My little street? A hidden gem.
The weather in SoCal? Hot. I called my Aunt in Chicago and it was snowing. There's gotta be a happy medium out there somewhere...I'm thinking it's Italy. I carry my passport with me at all times just in case I get a call from that guy that I like so much asking me to lunch in some faraway land...or to hop over the border into Baja for a really great street taco.
Well, Baja is out for now thanks to the drug cartels. Jerks.
And here is where my week turned. Brian was cleared to return to football and sitting in the stands was not easy on the mama. I spent a lot of time looking down at my hands and waiting for that guy that I like so much to tell me everything was ok and I could look up.
Not easy for me. At all.
The boy, and his hip, are just fine.
AND THEN...because life can never be calm when you've given birth to three overly active, life living boys, Alex hurt his knee playing basketball. Like, really hurt it.
His good knee.
Friday was spent at the Dr and we have no answers yet as to what is going on...well, it's his MCL (again) but we won't know anything until his MRI is read on Monday. This boy of mine? My heart is breaking in two for him. He needs his limbs for work and for this next stage in his life and this could very well be a game changer.
I believe full well that God sends course corrections to us throughout life but it just seems as if my boy is constantly given full on road blocks. One after another. And as a grown up, I have seen that the way he used to live life to the fullest...well, those road blocks were crucial.
The thing is...this boy of mine? He's growing up so nicely. Like really nicely. Let me tell you, without those big hurdles his life choices could have been different. Very different. But now? Now he could use a little break.
And not a knee break.
Friday night I cooked supper and we ended up with a houseful. Man, I love that. Not planned and I love how the food always seems to stretch to feed everyone who walks into the door. And after a really stressful week this was exactly what the Dr ordered.
Kir royale for me. Wine, beer and vodka cranberry for everyone else.
Bigger than that...I needed a houseful on that night. I needed to get my mind off off the negative and focus on others...on feeding others and loving others and laughing with others.
Basically... I needed others. Not quiet, because quiet would have had me overthink everything.
I love when that happens.
So here I am, trying to live faith in a way that is outwardly visible to my boys. Showing them through my prayers and my walk and my talk and my actions, that while life isn't always easy or doesn't always go the way you plan...that there is a plan. A great plan. That course redirections are not bad...that there is a purpose behind them that might take a while to come apparent.
That seeing things through rose colored glasses means we are choosing to see things in God's light. That while it would be so easy to always see the negative but we have a great opportunity to focus on the light in all of it...that a blown out knee means something different and better is around the corner.
But as a mom? Hard to watch.
So now I sit, waiting on the sidelines to see what happens. I want answers, too...and have mentioned that to God more than a few times. That while He is directing all of this, that maybe I could be let in on the plan? That, after all, I'm the mom.
But I trust. I really do.