Why Yes, I Still Live Here

It's so easy to fall into a place of questioning...of second guessing who and why and what and where. And that's what I've been doing recently.  The 'what if's'.  And 'what for's'.  And a few 'oh my's' for good measure.

All those things?  Time wasters.  Joy robbers.

So tomorrow morning, bright and early, I am going to go to work.  And then?  I'm going to head to Disneyland, order myself a sugar free peppermint mocha on Main Street USA and forget real life for a little bit.

I cannot wait.

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This picture below?  A time release shot of a day in Boulder.  Sunny to snow in the blink of an eye...makes me homesick.  I've got a ticket that needs to be used, too.

Hmmmm.

This week I spoke at a big university on a big stage in front of a lot of people with a bunch of other 'writers'.  What a hoot.  The idea that I write a diary of my life and others peek into it...well, that just make me laugh a bit.  I read a bit from things I've written here and read a story I wrote about the night my oldest son was born, which is not written here but should be, and told a another about my middle boy and another about the night that guy that I like so much and I met.  They then opened the floor up for questions and they were challenging this go around.  I'll be honest, they've made me think a lot of thoughts.

Thinking is good...until it becomes overthinking which then turns to overreacting.  And if you've read above then you know my thoughts have gone down that road a bit too far.  

But in all fairness,  life's been a bit of a challenge lately.  Boy #2 had his MRI today and we have the big appt. on Monday.  I'm struggling to turn all this over to the one who has written this story and I need to.  No matter how much I try to control all of this...I can't.  So I know it needs to be released...but I'm struggling with that.  With letting go of the worry.

Soon, I hope.

I'm working a lot...but finding balance, too.  I have to travel east again, probably before the end of the year as that program there is quadrupling in size.  Yowza. The best thing is the new iPhone6 that is now in my possession...it's shiny, brand new and is for work only.  WORK ONLY.  That means at the end of my work day I can turn it off and shove it in a drawer.

Amen.

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Suppers this week, because that time in my pretty little kitchen is the time I'm feeling most like me, have been a little of this and that.  I made roasted pork one night with onions and fennel and served the whole thing over smashed potatoes.  There was a pot of black bean soup one night and pasta with gravy another.  There was a take out pizza in there, too, because...well, because sometimes you just gotta order a pizza or throw a plate against the wall.  And I chose to order a pizza.

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