Monday, December 22, 2014

Christmas Giving


The week leading up to this one was so full of activities that at one point I almost texted myself my own address...I was out more than I was in.  

Work was a bear but for the next few weeks I don't need to think about it and I couldn't be happier.  The shopping is done and so is the wrapping...and I will continue to sing the praises of online shopping and shipping.  

And now?  Now, we wait.

That guy that I like so much and I were heading down to San Diego for a breakfast at Snooze when our 21 year old ran out and invited himself to the party.  Such a great morning to spend with him...he's one of my favorites.

I have three favorites, in case you were wondering.

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Pancakes and benedicts and really great coffee...plus time with our boy in the middle?

Nice.

Our little house is decorated to the nines...I'll do a little house tour tomorrow so you can all see.  

I need to take pictures...and clean.

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Brian's basketball season has begun and we've had a crazy tournament schedule.  He's even in a tourney this week and plays every day this week except for Christmas eve and day...and yeah, I am really, really going to miss this season of life.  

Well...not the smelly shoe part.

Our friend Hans owns an INCREDIBLE cheese shop in SoCal (www.vingoat.com) and they have some of the best events around...wine and cheese pairings, classes, and this week there was a harbor cruise as part of the Newport Boat Parade.

That guy that I like so much and I went along and man oh man oh man.  The food.  THE FOOD.  Cheese (of course) and wine and gumbo and salami and I could go on and on but then I'll get all depressed because it's over.  

YUM.

The weather was perfect and the company was really fun...it felt like a grown up date night.  Oh wait...we are grown ups.

How do I know that?  Because we have a leaky shower that can't be fixed and an out of control animal that keeps using my son's bed as an outhouse and a pile of bills that are waiting to be paid.

But also because we get to go on fun dates.  

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Our tradition of watching White Christmas while wrapping presents continues and yesterday we did the thing we do...and I think we're in good shape.  The presents are smaller this year and for the first time, the numbers aren't even.  Well...the dollar amount is even but the number of packages per person aren't even.

I struggle...I'll admit it.  I like to buy gifts for my peoples.  I find joy in giving and I strive to teach them the joy of receiving.  And of paying it forward.  It's hard for me to find that balance of how much is enough and how much is too much...we live in an area where most have more and most have better and while I gave up long ago trying to compete with that myself, I don't want my boys to feel without.

I know they need to and trust me, they do.  The struggle is mine and fortunately, it's not a struggle I share with that guy that I like so much...so he's my voice of reason.

A strong voice of reason.

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The parties continue...some at other places and some here.  This morning while my sink was full of warm soapy water I had my prayer time.  I'm feeling so thankful this season...it's been quite a year for us and I feel like it's been such a gift.  

But there's sadness, too.  I want all my loves here, with me.  I want them safe and healthy and happy.  I want them to want to be here with us.  I want time to freeze on the happy parts and to zoom over the ugly.  

I want to live, with my whole heart, what I'm taught in Proverbs 31...to be a woman of noble character, to put others first, to serve (hello rude emails that are to come...but yes, to serve) my husband.  To manage my household with honor and kindness.

I want to shine a light...a light of what blessed looks like.  I want to shine hope.  And forgiveness.  And love.

I fail more often than I win.  But I know I'm forgiven and I cling to that...even when I'm weary.  

I can't wrap that gift and put it under the tree...it's already been opened.   That lesson though...it's the greatest gift I can give my boys not just on Christmas but every day.  And my prayer this season is that they see that and hear that and believe that...come, Lord Jesus.  Come.

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