Finding Contentment

A few weeks ago I had lunch at a girlfriends new house that she and her husband designed and built from the ground up.

All 10,000 square feet of it.

Just a little house.

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Below?  Her front hallway.  No kidding. 

This house is a labor of love for them...they had it all, lost it all and then rebuilt it all.  I love stories like that.  She tells of stories of walking through ruins in Italy, hand picking every roof tile and fireplace (there's 8 of them) and of the wood beams that came from old barns in Wisconsin.

How. Cool. Is. That?

But as we lunched on the most amazing salad I have ever had, she talked of giving it all up for a relationship that she is longing for and it always amazes me that money really does not solve everything.

I always think that if my checking account balance were to hover a little bit over the poverty level that lots would be easier...not that life is hard but seriously, wouldn't a few extra dollars in the bank make it all better?

And then I look...and this is my Advent season right now, to see what I have.  I'm feeling stretched...almost to the breaking point with work and home and sports and worrying for my boy who lives away and for my other boy who is preparing for a big move and the college search (and how to pay for it) for my third boy and stressing about how to maintain relationships and I'm tired.

I'm just tired.

And so, in the rain late last night, that guy that I like so much and I grabbed our umbrellas and our dog and went for a long walk in the moonlight.  We've been doing that a lot lately and that time has become so precious to me...our little house on our little street is always bustling and sometimes the only way to experience quiet is to leave for a bit.

But it gives us a chance to talk and let's face it, I'm a girl and I'm surrounded by boys and I neeeeed to talk.

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We've been talking a lot about feeling content and the talks have come after being with so many others who are searching for that very thing.  Is there such a thing as being truly content?  Is it wrong to always wonder about the next best thing...about moving to a bigger house?  Or buying a new car?  Or traveling to that faraway land?

I don't have the answer but I do know that aside form my checking account balance, I like where we're at.  But I still wonder, too.

Oh yeah...in her underground garage there is a little Ferrari.  

Just a little one.

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A lot of it is just that time of year that it is...the season of giving and buying and spending and having a huge time crunch to get it all done.

So I'm dreaming.  Dreaming of baking cookies on a rainy day in my pj's while a really good movie is on the TV.

I also dream of having someone come and organize my house...of cleaning out my kitchen cabinets and pantry and linen closet.  

Now THAT would be a great gift.

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The rain has ended and boy, do we need more.  I'm sure it will come, but for now I am going to enjoy the sunny skies and get my errands done today because let's face it, a big Costco run in the rain is just not fun.  

There are concerts this weekend and parties and visitors who will want to eat and boys who want to eat and a dog and two cats who want to eat.

The organizing of cupboards and a pantry can wait...my excuse is that the sun is shining.

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