I tossed and turned a lot last night and finally gave up and left my warm bed somewhere around 4:00am...I was worried my restlessness would wake up that guy that I like so much who so desperately needs sleep at this time of year and besides, my phone starts humming around then with my east coast clients. But this morning...since I am awake? Radio silence.
We had nothing short of a Christmas miracle last night...we were both home with nothing on the calendar. Nothing! On a weeknight in December!
It warranted the expensive bubbly...the Laetitia, which we splurge on having delivered to us 4 times a year. It makes me feel grown up and...well, it just makes me happy. And while we were sipping it, over a yummy hot baked pasta with sausage and eggplants and gooey mozzarella the UPS man walked in with our December shipment.
Il signo...a sign.
And ignore the open cabinet...there was wet paint waiting to dry. I had a vision, during the craziness of December, to paint weird places that no one ever sees. I don't get it either but for some unknown reason that's what I'm doing...you know, with my free time. At 4:00am.
So last night we did what we do. We sat around our table and prayed and broke bread and then it began to happen. Friends, one by one and none of whom overlapped, began stopping by. Some shared a glass of bubbly. Others a plate of food. Others some sambuca, presented flaming with 3 coffee beans floating in it to symbolize the holy trinity.
Man, I love the Italians.
We never left the table. It was one of those nights where, once everyone left, I started to cry. I dreamt of this...of a little house with a table big enough to welcome all. A table where friends would feel comfortable enough to drop by for 5 minutes or 5 hours. It was a dream that I had to sell that guy that I like so much on back in our early days...and now he's embraced it just as much as me.
That dream has become our real life.
And then I'd think sleep would come easily but it hasn't. My prayer life is a bit non existent right now while my brain seems to be running on overtime with worldly stuff...the politics of this world, the endless to do list that surrounds this season, how to get a wobbly drawer to not wobble anymore.
You know, important stuff.
But my quiet time, my prayer time...I just can't form the words. My heart is so full of worries and through it all...even though I can't seem to spit out the words into a recognizable prayer, I'm feeling as if there is a hand on my shoulder at all times. I feel his presence...I feel it. And so I am just resting in that. And holding on.
This morning, once the sun comes up, I have to hit the ground running. I have some work to do in a far away city followed by a meeting with my team here in Orange County. I'm having a follow up X-ray and MRI on my arm later this morning which will hopefully be done in time for me to go to church at noon - there's a lovely old Lutheran church that does a great noon service during advent and there's something about singing hymns in the middle of the day that makes me feel joyful and all Christmasy...and then I'll head back home.
According to my calendar Christmas miracle #2 is going to happen...if I'm not mistaken, we will be all be home again tonight. After this there isn't a break for quite some time but tonight? We'll be gathered around our table.